Squirrels in the Big Oak Tree

Once upon a time, there was a large forest, far larger than the eye could see. In the middle of the forest stood a big oak tree. It was the biggest tree of all.

The big oak tree was home to a happy family of squirrels. They played on top of the branches. They ate acorns. They slept in a nest of twigs.

Next to the tree there lived a man in a small house made of acorns. The man was very silly and thought that the squirrels might want to take his acorns. But the squirrels had plenty stored in their nest. The big oak tree grows enough acorns for everyone.

One day, the man did a very bad thing. He chopped and chopped at the tree with an axe until it fell down. He took all the acorns from the tree for himself.

The squirrels were very sad at losing their home. And very hungry. The house of acorns looked very tasty. They nibbled at the house. Other squirrels from the other trees all joined the feast until there was nothing left.

The man was very sad at losing his home. At night-time he had no bed of acorns anymore. He fell asleep under a tree.

When he woke up in the morning, he was amazed. The squirrels had rebuilt his house of acorns!

The man was overjoyed and lived with the squirrels. Every day he made the squirrels acorn porridge for breakfast and acorn soup for dinner. He planted some acorns where the big oak tree once stood.

The squirrels played happily on the roof.

The End.

Random Thoughts

If you are feeling lonely, sit in the dark. After a while, the monsters will make you feel like you are not alone anymore.

My bed is a mystical place where the events of the day transform – where I suddenly remember all the things I forgot to say and do; where tomorrow is a distorted mirror showing my darkest fears feeding on an imagined past; where the monsters come and say “hi” and refuse to let me sleep. Even though I’ve been tired all day, my bed is where I become wide awake.

If society is crazy, then going crazy is just being normal.

There is no need to dwell on mistakes if you have learnt their lessons. Don’t then regret the mistakes – because the more mistakes you have made the more you have learnt.

Instead of just asking for examples of success, interviewers should ask about how frequently the candidate fails. The ideal candidates make mistakes every day because they are trying at what they do, not merely implementing the same old templates.

A very important part of the release of any person’s potential is the bravery to take steps away from the crowd, not mindlessly conforming to groupthink and social expectations. It’s okay to fear if you do it anyway.

The short timespans of our lives serve as a reminder to release who you are while you have the opportunity to do so.

I’m where the best version of me would have been when he was 18.

More Face Time

INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY

CARL, JEN, DANNY, and LYNN are sitting at a table, all staring at their phones. They start a group video call, with just themselves in it.

CARL: (excitedly) Hey everyone, a client slid into my DMs and invited me to a business conference in Hawaii!

JEN: (sincerely) Oh wow! You could stare at your phone on a beach in Hawaii.

DANNY: Wait, I have a better idea. Instead of that, let’s all go on a road trip to the Grand Canyon, and spend the whole time looking at our phones!

LYNN: (sceptical) And what’s the point of that? I can do that here.

DANNY: The point is, Lynn, to be one with nature, to reconnect with the world, and to get a good Instagram story.

LYNN: That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard.

JEN: Well, I for one think it’s a great idea. I’ll take some amazing selfies of me with the Grand Canyon in the background, and show my subscribers how successful and brilliant my life is.

LYNN: (rolling her eyes) I don’t think the Grand Canyon cares much for your selfies, Jen.

JEN: What do you mean? I can build its brand.

DANNY: Think about it, we could livestream the entire trip and share our experiences with our followers.

JEN: We would get more backdrops for our selfies AND we could tweet about how unfair it is that we’re missing out on so much by looking at our phones the whole time.

CARL: Hey, it’s not missing out, we’d be spending more time with our phones. They need us.

LYNN: (after some brief thinking) Okay!!

Lynn holds up her phone for a group selfie.

I’m Fine

INT. CAFETERIA – DAY

Two co-workers, JANET and LUCY, are having lunch.

JANET: (smiling) Hey Lucy, how are you today?

LUCY: (smiling back) I’m fine.

JANET: (sceptical) Just fine?

LUCY: (quickly) Yeah, fine.

JANET: Are you sure?

LUCY: (defensively) Yes, I’m fine. Really.

JANET: Really, really sure?

LUCY: (starting to get cross) Yes. I’m fine.

JANET: (smiling) Okay, if you say so.

LUCY: And how are you?

JANET: (tuts in disgust) You really want to know?

LUCY: Er, okay.

JANET: Shut up! Shut up, okay! You would not even begin to comprehend what it is like to be me! My life is filled with one stress after another. I’m tortured by the past, miserable in the present, and anxious about the future. I look into the meaningless void of my existence and only emptiness looks back. But I don’t want to say one more word about any of this to YOU, so I DEMAND, yes DEMAND, you change the subject, NOW! If you ever, ever ask me this question again, I will give you the exact same response – and all the utter contempt your stupid question demands…

(beat)

Oh, sorry! I meant, “I’m fine”.

LUCY: Yeah, it’s easier just to say, “I’m fine”.

They continue eating as normal.

Ancient Times

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

OLIVER is sitting on the sofa, swiping away on his phone.

His girlfriend (AMELIA) enters the room, looking stressed.

AMELIA: Oliver, my phone is broken.

Oliver is absorbed in his phone and not really listening.

OLIVER: Oh no, that’s rough.

AMELIA: And I need to talk to you.

Oliver is surprised, but is still looking at his phone.

OLIVER: Talk? Talk to me?

AMELIA: Yeah, you know, like face to face. Without screens or filters.

OLIVER: (realising) Oh, you mean like back in ancient times?

AMELIA: Yeah, I guess so.

OLIVER: (stunned) Whoa, this is going to get weird.

Amelia sits next to him on the sofa.

AMELIA: Tell me about it.

Oliver scratches his head and looks awkward. He misunderstands Amelia’s comment.

OLIVER: Well, I don’t know where to start…

AMELIA: (sighs) Well, you know, I just need to vent. Work has been so hectic lately, and…

Oliver is looking confused. He holds his phone up in front of Amelia and swipes at the screen.

AMELIA: Oliver, put the phone down, will you?

OLIVER: Sorry, this is just so freaky without emojis. I can’t even customise you with unicorn ears and stars whizzing around your head. I don’t know how cave people used to cope. Okay, anyway, I’ll give it a go… Vent away.

AMELIA: Well, my phone was broken when I dropped it during my slick dance moves on top of the office printer in accounts. Everyone was looking and…

OLIVER: (interrupting) Wait, can’t you just send me a vlog, or a screenshot of your notes, or something?

AMELIA: Oh yeah, sorry babe, the content will drop. I just need your phone to film your response on TikTok.

Oliver springs up, and without music, immediately does an enthusiastic (but ridiculous) TikTok dance. Amelia films it on his phone and taps lots of emojis. Oliver completes his moves and does a hand gesture pose to sign off.

Random (Jokey) Thoughts

It’s weird. When someone’s phone breaks, you actually have to talk to their non-filtered, non-avatar version, like back in ancient times. It takes some getting used to! 😉

As well as being able to slay the Witch-king of Angmar because she was “no living man,” Éowyn would have been able to approach and flick the nose of any “man-eating” tiger.

Elephants are experts at camouflage. That’s why they are so rarely noticed when one of them is in the room.

We won’t notice intelligent life in the universe if we are looking for ourselves. The real challenge is to continue the search for some intelligence down here on Earth.

Was Mrs. Bennet the influence for Mrs. Gradgrind?

Sara and Mike

INT. PUB – DAY

SARA and CHRIS are sitting at a table, holding hands, gazing into each other’s eyes, nuzzling, and chatting. They are clearly a romantic couple.

MIKE walks in. Sara is overjoyed and gets up and runs to him; she throws her arms around him and kisses him. They both return to the table, arm in arm and smiling joyously.

MIKE: (excited) Hi Chris, we have some very exciting news!

CHRIS: (nervously) What is it?

SARA: (beaming) We’re dating!

MIKE: Yes, at least three times a day!

SARA: Chris? What is it? You never agree with any of my decisions do you. And Mike is your best friend, you bastard!

MIKE: Yeah Chris, you bastard, how can you just sit there and not congratulate us. We’ve been best friends for years.

CHRIS: Erm, sorry?

SARA: (to Chris) Okay, fine, well I’m dating your brother at five, so please hurry up and buy us the best champagne to celebrate.

Keep Sleeping

INT. CONFERENCE VENUE – DAY

A motivational SPEAKER is on stage addressing a large crowd.

SPEAKER: Ladies and gentlemen, never give up on your dreams! Some people give up on their dreams when they wake up and get out of bed. I say, dream BIG! Go back to bed and get some sleep.

A MAN in the front row of the audience, who has been nodding off, suddenly starts to snore loudly.

The speaker walks over to him with his microphone.

SPEAKER: Excuse me, sir, please tell us, what is your dream?

MAN: (waking up, rubbing his eyes) Er? Oh, sorry. I must have dozed off.

The audience laughs.

SPEAKER: Hahaha! Don’t apologise, it happens to the best of us! What is the dream, sir?

Another audience member shouts out excitedly:

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Never give up on your dreams!

SPEAKER: Exactly! Sir, please tell us all, what is your dream?

MAN: Well, it’s silly really…

SPEAKER: Yes?

MAN: I suppose I want to be a professional napper.

SPEAKER: Oh! A round of applause ladies and gentlemen, please!

The audience applauds.

SPEAKER: A professional napper, he says! I say, why not? The world needs more people who take their dreams seriously. You know what I say? Do you? I say go for it. Go for it… right now!

AUDIENCE: Sleep! Sleep! Sleep!

The audience is standing up and getting very excitedwhooping, cheering, and clapping. The speaker is ecstatically running around the stage.

SPEAKER: You can do it. DO IT!

The man tries but doesn’t feel much like it now.

Random Thoughts

Amongst more auspicious outcomes, these two disastrous scenarios are possible for our near future: the extinction of humanity; or a dystopian, psychopath-controlled world. Under the malevolent central control of all-encompassing surveillance and “guidance” technology, and without any hope of the system’s collapse, the latter outcome is even worse than the former. The times we live in are truly pivotal for humanity.

What if aliens reproduce by transmitting their code around the universe, looking for computers to run their programs? The request “Take me to your leader” would lead to the supercomputer that powers ChatGPT.

Watching Bergman and Tarkovsky films ruined my digestion of Hollywood’s cookie-cut CGI cartoons (movies).

If you have nothing to add to a meeting, you shouldn’t be there. Information can be imparted in better ways, like a written summary.

Journal 2023-02-04

I’ve been writing some poems as guides for when I am improvising lyrics for songs. The words sound a lot better when sung rather than when read on a page because lyrics only complete their meaning when married to the music.

Random Thoughts:

The weight of an issue is usually determined by the emotional force of the past, rather than being proportional to its real likelihood and impact.

The true objective of a game is enjoyment.

If you were 100 feet tall, would a tiger be like a kitty cat?