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Welcome to the Robert Walker data export, Version 1000.0.

*Really Bobster (Robert Walker, Bobby Walker).


Journal 2022-11-29

A bed demon under my pillow forces my eyelids open at night so that I can doomscroll on Twitter. Problem solved? The thing that was bothering you has come and gone like everything else. What’s next on the worry list? Maybe while you’re thinking like this, you could add a…

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Random Thoughts

A person usually believes that 100% of everything they think to be true is actually true. Their mind has arrived at a conclusion, so how can their mind think it to be anything else? I think that even the most perspicacious of people have a much lower strike rate than…

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Podcast #13

A Poison Tree & Suicide in the Trenches – By William Blake, Siegfried Sassoon “A Poison Tree” by William Blake I was angry with my friend; I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. And I…

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Diagnosis

I do not subscribe to the view that people who do terrible things believe their actions are necessary for a greater good. I think many such people go out of their way to inflict misery and take a perverse pleasure in their power to do so. We often have to…

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Journal 2022-11-16

I’ve been working as a software engineer with domain knowledge in finance and trading. I can find it interesting, especially when I create something useful. My main creative, potentially commercial, outlets are: writing, acting, singing, songwriting. Visual art is important also as a personal outlet. My main interest overall is…

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Putinland Disease

I have no way of knowing what people really think in Russia; but I would take a speculative guess and say something like: As ever, really it is the majority of people in the middle who hold the power, though they often don’t realise it.

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Journal 2022-11-11

Any sequence of words should aspire to be a poetic turn of phrase. I am currently reading ten books, dipping into each depending on mood. I usually prefer to read novels while listening to the partner audiobooks—because this slows me down, helping me to observe and imagine more; and includes…

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Human World

What is the meaning of life? … is the 404th most asked question of the Great Oracle’s Database. To give context, “how many days until Christmas?” comes in at 99, and “how to have sex?” is at 42. The humans think that sex (if only they knew how to do…

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Random Thoughts

What is the meaning of life? … is the 404th most asked question of the Great Oracle’s Database. Currently at 70,300 words, the novel will probably end up at about 90,000 words. The unknown X to be solved is the number of the final chapter. I am sceptical of all…

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Random Thoughts

Habits of a thoughtful person: reads widely, with a dictionary and online search at hand; listens to the considered thoughts of others; seeks out and appreciates knowledge, beauty, and art; writes a record of thoughts. The same tool can take you to heaven or hell depending on how you use…

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Journal 2022-10-22

If you are not trying to appease anyone; if you are not trying to appeal to a market demographic; and you don’t need anything: watch out, you might actually do something worthwhile. The first-person narrative voice in novels should be unreliable if it is to be realistic; and usually, the…

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Random Thoughts

Just as the health of the body is shaped by what is eaten and when, the health of the mind is influenced by the diet of information. If your mind is subject to poison, you need to build a resistance and reduce the intake. The main reason for staring at…

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Socially Sadistic and Masochistic Media

I remember a time, not so long ago, when boredom was a thing; now we are all overstimulated finger flickers. I think people are less happy, generally, and it’s mostly due to how we currently interact with technology, or more precisely, how we are conditioned to behave by the platforms…

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Putinland

A despicable act is particularly reprehensible when the perpetrators have had every chance to know better. In the 21st century, behaving like barbarians wanting to resurrect the evils of the past is especially vile. My opinion has long been that Putin is a psychopathic gangster boss with a corrupt state…

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Random Thoughts

It’s usually a safe bet to assume that the person you are talking to has some degree of mental illness. They need the kindness you would need if you carried their hurt. For the ones who actively hurt others, they need to be stopped. Countless individuals have carried the flame…

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Random Thoughts

I wrote 13,350 words in 11 days. So it looks like my run rate is about 1,200 words of draft text per day when I have an idea. My internal soundtrack on headphones represents the mood I need to be in at the time. If time isn’t a significant constraint…

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Journal 2022-09-13

Someone was asking me about the constitutional settlement in the UK, and I had to correct myself fives times by saying “the monarch” instead of “the Queen”. My mind just didn’t want to use the new words. Kim Jong-un has a 100% approval rating by his adoring serfs. The Kremlin…

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Journal 2022-09-04

Listening to classical music on headphones is a hack for me when I need to concentrate on one task for a sustained period of time. I think it calms the sea of thoughts that want to compete for attention. I like designing apps using Figma. Bubble is a very easy…

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Random Thoughts

Beliefs control people. It takes kindness and bravery to drop an interpretation that is used for cruelty. Any person can do a lot of good. Instead, most energy is spent spinning from the algorithm operating on you. Imagine a world where people live for hundreds of years, still living day-to-day…

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Random Thoughts

If there were a simulation, instead of being just one character, how about being eight billion simultaneously? Your consciousness would constantly alternate between every person in an infinitesimally small period of time, giving you the illusion that you are in the same individual continuously. Each person would have different memories,…

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Journal 2022-08-24

To be ultra-confident you can either be a deranged narcissist or you can be yourself completely. The former is fragile, needing lies and selfishness to delay its inevitable demise; the latter invites a playful, open curiosity to life and what is. There is no desire to convince others that you…

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Journal 2022-08-21

I tried work once, but I prefer cake, selfies and sunsets. Your mental state affects your physicality. It’s also true the other way round. An interpretation of Human World is that Guy/John is mentally ill and is projecting the thoughts of his split personalities on his interpretation of events. It…

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Random Thoughts

A journey of a thousand lines of code begins with a single import statement. Deserts are giant sun mines. Negative generalisations about a person based on demographics is bigotry. Thinking out loud… Legislature: Lower Chamber: 1,000 randomly selected people, each serving 1 month over staggered terms. Each vote by secret…

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Journal 2022-08-16

Anything creative is therapeutic to me, even if it is just some simple words like these. These are both acting and writing requirements: Describe the scene in detail. What is he seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching. What is he thinking? What is his emotional state? What does he want? What…

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Fantasy Land

Sometimes I dream of what I read; Sometimes I kiss your sleeping head – But only the pillow is your body, your touch a bed. I breathe with you, but you’re not there at all. In fantasy land, nothing is real except how I feel about you, baby. In fantasy…

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Did You Ever Love Me?

We were in love (or so we said) – Our days ahead “would last forever”. But now, you’re not here; The bed is cold, our story’s over. Last night, where were you? The dawn is dark and I can’t see you. Did you ever love me? Or am I just…

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Play Me Again

If you want me, you’ve got me – Try me, taste and buy me. I feel you when you look at me: A wave swelling over me, Lips swirling over my body. Get me where you want me: Play your game, For your satisfaction, Play me again. Any way you…

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Naughty Is Best

Someone I know is so naughty, Helping me up in all my glory: Bliss stretching up, touched by the sun – Like a sonic flare, the day has begun. In the inferno, she finds her way, Breathing in great aeons of shapes, Up and down in a fierce embrace, Claiming…

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Sweet Salvation

Had some time, had some life, had some fun, and tried to put out some. Love has met me and love has left me – When I’m done, what will come? When I’m done dying, lay my head on the ground; And there’s a simple sign, that I ain’t coming…

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Come Take It All

My bruises glow red hot; My bruises glow red hot; Love me hard or love me not. In time all things come back, Like a spinning wheel – It turns back to where we begin; Read the warning: “Beware!” Do you dare? What do you want from me? Do you…

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Out of Your Cage

Late at night in your bed, too tired to sleep, replaying the whole day in my head – Even though you smile, you look at me like you want me dead. Something lingers in the shadows, a distant echo of your voice numbs the air, stirs the nothing; Nothing of…

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Do It

All things happen eventually, Slow then slower then fast and suddenly you appear from nowhere – The sparks light up everywhere. You and me, no time like this: One thousand miles starts with a kiss. One thousand miles starts suddenly – Surprise explodes into the air; Into a new day…

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Growing Young

Everyone is crazy, everyone is sane – Different only by degrees. Anyone is pain, anyone is joy: All things are in all things. We were born, we will cry, we will laugh, And we will die. Our best is yet to come, Everyone is growing young. It takes some time…

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Fake Truth

Fake truth: The gift for you. Paint it gold; put it on your finger and make you sold – The yellow glare for the change of some new clothes. It’s just a natural lie for you, for some big faker, fake-faking you; Faking you, making news with lines to control…

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What I’m Told

The gamble’s the same; The outcome’s a game – Ratios rigged high up to blame. Forever growth; Debt to debt; Interest in interest to forget. Ratios are always the same, but now thousands are billions – Yeah, it all adds up again… In the slime, In the time, It takes…

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Melt My Name

Now you’ve got me on the line; Now you’ve got me in the midnight: I hold on like I was in my stride, I was on my ride, And I lie thigh to thigh, And I, I, I comply. You know I saw you in a whole new light -…

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Not Enough

Sometimes a little is a lot; Sometimes cold is hot – You turn me off and turn me on And leave me here, now, Wanting more… I want you. No more! I bark, you bite, It’s too much. Not enough is too much; Not enough is where we begin. Old…

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Come On

Too much for me to know – My heart says yes, but my head says no. Come on, come on, you live inside a screen, not where you belong. Come on, we can try to lose our wires – Know me, hold me. Come on, we’re too slow, staring down…

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No More Lies

Grinding away another day, But never enough of the same old stuff – Nothing to share in the routine stare. All this time, but time for nothing – Fair play, you’ll get your way: A fashion victim, chained to the system, High-rise hypnotised, High-rise metabolised. Time to change for something…

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Visiting Time Is Over

Do you know something that I don’t? You want to live but you won’t. Don’t judge who you think I am – Only time with me can bring me back to life. Cure me in the night-time – Only you can help us find the feeling one more time. Nothing…

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Don’t Give Up

Don’t give up, make your luck – Fortune favours those who dare, So don’t give up. Turn up the volume, love what you do, And don’t give up. You are who you are when you Don’t give up. You’re heavy in the darkest day, Weighted down and lost your way…

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Just Out Of Reach

If you want me let me know, there is more of me to show: In shadows of reflections, lost excuses of deceptions – In sight I hide, Just out of reach… I can’t get away, the past repeats – I can not see in the dark. Through dusk I grind…

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Never Again

Look me in the eye and tell me your lie – Insanity needs feeding. The mirror is cracked – The neon lights are so misleading. Make my crown; Make my frown; Make me cry; Make me sigh; In love; In pain: Nothing to gain but shame. Chase your tail, Reach…

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Everything’s Bigger in Texas

Driving down highway eighty, There was something hard to miss: Just one star in the sky, shining down on me. At the end of the line, I saw a big old sign, politely reminding me: In the land of the free, from sea to shining sea, Everything’s bigger in Texas.…

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Here Without You

Feeling the way the river flows, the way the wind blows – It goes right through me… Am I here, in someone else’s dream? Do I exist at all, here without you? It came to me like a thunder cloud in blue to be told we are through – It…

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Somehow

The touch of rain kisses the pain of you. To the bitter end, I will always be your friend. There’s nothing I can do, Nowhere to be with you. On a hope and a prayer, On the edge of nowhere, I see you here in everything I do. I know…

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I Just Miss You

Your train had vanished down the track, left me there, not looking back. All I see ahead of me are seasons of mists numbing me, to the core – because you’re not here anymore. I just miss you; I really miss you; Love finds a way, through summer and winter……

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April Fool

I’m just a little soul, part of a bigger goal; Just give me somebody to hold. Said the fool: I’ve a world to rule – Poisoned flower’s scent turned sour; Beauty within me bloomed and faded so fast. April fool, another broken rule; The sky is on the floor for…

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Night Eyes

I am absent without leave in ways you can’t perceive. Bail me out, show me what I am about: All hard and cold, of fool’s gold, in fool’s paradise. Show me what you are about. Show me what I must do: What we must do; What you can do… You…

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Better Late Than Never

I know I should have been here long ago, but I lost my way; I lost my mind in circles around you; I’m sorry, so sorry. Maybe it was just another story about us, with words that swirl around you and me – Better late than never. You don’t know…

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Be Now

Everything can come to those who live and won’t wait: Something good, something great – Yeah, I’m not in control. Rise and shine, everything’s fine; You’re all good, be as it should – Be now: The rub of the green, with no routine… Be now. Less is so much more;…

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Only Love Is Real

I need to find some peace of mind – I watch the ride: A thousand eyes shining in space, In the beauty of you. Only love is real… I am now awake With where my heart is now – Now in life: Only you, Only you are real… Only love…

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This Too Will Pass

Slipping and sliding, Commanding the tides – Bitter struggling against my mind. But nothing can last, This too will pass. Minds crashing and colliding – Anxiety, when dreaming away, Ignoring the lights. Night turns to day, day turns to night… The future’s the past. Nothing ever lasts. (This too will…

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Our Way Back

Our way back is to where we were before, before we started – Where it’s taken a lifetime for us to be together… Where we departed. I’ve been a dark horse running from the source to the back of beyond, on an uneven course – Where every lost cloud was…

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Between The Lines

I am here now for your pleasure, Light me up, I’m at your leisure – You don’t know what I am thinking; You don’t know that I am winking. The illusion: An old delusion, found again and lost again. I just missed you, How I missed you! I’m the secret…

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Journal 2022-08-06

I’m collating my lyrics from dozens of songs at the moment. Random Thoughts: If you drop the story in your mind for one minute, what happens? You don’t have the thoughts in your mind that distress you. You are alive, now, in this fascinatingly weird and beautiful place. Lying is…

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It Can’t Be You

You entered, in my mind, so long ago, so long ago – Even though you were a passing shadow unlikely for me to see again. Sometimes I’d see you in my mind: I’d think of what you were doing, what you were seeing, what you were imagining – You were…

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Another Thing Coming

Through the window I could see a glimmering gaze waiting for me – A choice, in the noise: Light from afar or delight at the bar. One more day mind glazed; One more day in the shade; One more day of empty glasses; One more day for second chances -…

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A Song Within

Battles closing minds at war; Fights the same, just as before. Raging struggles in your way, surviving another day of artificial, unsubstantial Fears full of the end. A song within is for display – Play it now, play it loud, play it soft; But most of all: Love it all.…

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Blah De Blah

Tedium… Tedious conversation… Boring repeats, heard it all before: Blah de blah, boring blah blah, “How dare you, what about me?” Blah blah, blah de blah blah, boring, blah blah blah. The same look in the eyes, the same scripted replies: “I’m better than, I’m more than” – comparison of…

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Journal 2022-07-17

(Writer, songwriter), (actor, singer), (art, innovation). I have done, am doing, and will do, all this. Writer is the first and current focus. Acting and innovation are broad categories, comprising different activities. Keep moving, wibble wobble rhubarb etc.

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Random Thoughts

The goal with current gaps and an action plan. Has anyone done this analysis for humanity? (I mean one that is based on universal flourishing and kindness, not written by useful idiots and implemented by empowered psychopaths.) Energy builds up internally through relentless thinking and wants to be released. Working…

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Journal 2022-07-12

Either use apps or read books of jokes, facts, quotes and vocabulary. Collated paragraphs of knowledge primers would be beneficial to learning as well. Random Thoughts: The past can offer lessons and warnings, but should not determine the quality of today nor the direction of the future. These words are…

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Journal 2022-07-09

I’m absolutely happy with the reservoirs of knowledge and culture that my phone makes available to me, including: Monthly subscriptions to Kindle, Audible, Spotify/Apple Music. Follows of blogs, micro-blogs, video playlists and podcasts (with an option to support). The one missing is a platform that provides the availability of any…

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JBK

I’m not interested in your hair, eye or skin colour. I don’t care what type of person you fancy. I don’t care what you identify as or belief system you follow. Just be kind.

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Random Thoughts

There have been plenty of middle management monsters running countries in history – they are psychotic narcissists who copy from a playbook given to them and repeat the past. Can creativity thrive under authoritarian conditions, aided by artificial intelligence? Can slaves be compelled and threatened to create? Can they create…

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Random Thoughts

On a hot day, humans can outrun horses over long distances. Thoughts determine your wellbeing. Fluffy thoughts are lovely; however if they are based on some personal deceit, they will turn sour. Negative thoughts destroy you and everything you experience. Positive thoughts based on what is true is the optimal…

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Jack (in HW: HIBPM)

You don’t play the ball. You kick the bastard in the balls. Or better still, get someone else to do it.…I’m off to fart my way around a golf course with fat balding men.…Walks past pictures of PMs … “Bitch, bitch, bitch – see you later, bitches.”

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Random Thoughts

Never quite here and not quite there, words are understood depending on you. Further from reality, from warmth and humanity, bliss will fester in your lap. Love and be loved; don’t judge and be judged. Anger sees anger; the foolish see a fool. Economic necessity hinders countless people from fulfilling…

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Journal 2022-06-02

True play is a time to experiment with new things; a time when you have the most chance to find something exciting. I have a rough album of songs that I think are really, really good. They’re making me dance. One thing at a time though. Evil appropriates the language…

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Podcast #12

HOW DO I LOVE THEE? (SONNET 43) – By ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.I love thee to the depth and breadth and heightMy soul can reach, when feeling out of sightFor the ends of being and ideal grace.I love thee to the…

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Journal 2022-05-31

I’m happy when I have interesting work because “work” then feels like play. Players play characters in plays; musicians play music while playing to audiences. Writers work, however; and artists work at producing artworks. Work and play can be a fine balance. Random Thoughts: Words can make grunts of great…

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A Lie

I spy with my little eye Something beginning with a lie: Thick bliss with a twist, Jealously deceiving, Judging and sneering; Another sadistic statistic bleeding fear on the journey from womb to tomb, dreaming of decay.

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Journal 2022-05-30

Currently playing a track on repeat with my wooh-ooh vocals on top. It’s really good, it’s sexy and I want to dance with it, but I did say one thing at a time… Random Thoughts: Words are more real when they form from actions. The interesting parts of a scene…

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Journal 2022-05-29

I read my words and find myself bursting out in laughter. I’m not sure if it’s because of quality or embarrassment. Bring life to the page and the page to life. The best way to spot typos and other errors is to read the words out loud. It slows you…

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Random Thoughts

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that humanity will progress or fail based on the quality of information. Totalitarian regimes are the biggest abusers of the truth and the vilest perverters of humanity. Wiberty – words in books can set you free. “Smart” as a buzzword has become…

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Journal 2022-05-21

During my wanderings, I’ve built abilities in various areas. I’m now focusing on each area in turn, starting with writing. Random Thoughts: From brain teasers to magic tricks, it’s usually a wrong assumption that hides the answer. Beliefs are full of assumptions, conscious and unconscious. If you think you understand,…

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Journal 2022-05-18

Mid-May and it is now the first day of the year when heating isn’t needed and my study door is open. The trees are in leaf, there is a freshness of cut grass in the air, and there are still spring flowers on green waysides. It’s this time of the…

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Random Thoughts

Any course of learning should be immediately available in a phone app, including school curriculum and university degree programmes. I need to know. About everything. I would like a feed of paragraphs from books. Drilling in expands to the chapter. It could have articles and blogs as well, but I’m…

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Random Thoughts

Extremists fail and fall because the path requires balance. It is inspiring that even when a person may be deeply flawed, they can still rise above all the frictions and misunderstandings of their day, to display moments of grace and greatness. I love the tech revolution that has happened during…

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Random Thoughts

Generals at totalitarian rallies look like clowns. Autocrats twist the rightful love of community into grotesque, violent delusion. Contorted minds create hell on earth. Non-fungible performances interest me. I’m thinking of issuing a few. Kierkegaard’s romance with Regine Olsen would make a good dramatisation. Ferocity and love as a combination…

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Journal 2022-05-07

It’s this order at the moment: Writing, Performance (Acting/Singing), Music, Art, Tech. I’m enjoying engaging in all these areas. Viral videos and images are fun in small doses, but the drug can become addictive and unfulfilling. I prefer to read articles on news aggregator apps or Twitter, wary of the…

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Random Thoughts

Invest where people who know what they are doing put their own capital. Or better still, invest in them. If you believe in what they are doing and you believe in them, then you have found the perfect combination. Products and services improve when the providers are also keen users.…

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Random Thoughts

Notice. Are you able to describe the person you just talked to? Or the room you were just in? Or even the object in your hand? Do you notice what you are doing? To be offended is to be wrong. Nasty behaviour thrown in your direction isn’t condoned, you might…

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Random Thoughts

I love that moment of bafflement when a person is looking at you and thinking “what the?” It usually ends in either awkward or full laughter. If nervous or stressed about doing something, say to yourself “I’ll be dead soon” and do it anyway. I think psychopaths don’t understand that…

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Random Thoughts

Work journals help elucidate what is happening and why. An important question to ask one’s own thoughts is, “Who is talking?” Now you know, do you want to let that voice speak? A human does not have one identity, or set of impulses. My logic reasons that I should be…

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Random Thoughts

What do you have to say? Experience. Think and write. Then say, entertainingly. Art happens when imagination and reality are one. Difference has a cost and the highest return. An algorithm, a method, is enormously powerful when perfectly applied. I sincerely hope we are able to spread humanity rather than…

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Journal 2022-04-09

Twitter can be an opportunity to read more. If I write something, I can also read the text on video and include in the tweet. I could use hashtag logic such as #H1C0S1T1 to index the content of Human World – where H = Human World (Novel), C = Chapter,…

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Random Thoughts

I used to grumble about wind turbines but now I’ve changed my mind. In my mind they’ve become monuments standing tall in all weather against humanity’s primitive past. It doesn’t matter how cloudy the skies, the arms will turn. A debate is just gladiatorial spectacle, but a discussion should be…

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Random Thoughts

I don’t mind monotonous chores when listening to podcasts or audiobooks. I press pause when I need to think about what I’m doing. Nazism was obviously an evil period of German history, and after its utter defeat, one for which subsequent generations in Germany completely rejected. Whether the scales will…

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Journal 2022-03-31

In One Billion Years is Part 3 of Human World. Choose creative thoughts above the destructive triad of fear, anger, and malice. If you don’t positively direct your thoughts, your thoughts will negatively direct you. Well directed thinking moves swiftly from problems to solutions.

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Random Thoughts

It’s easy to stamp on a flower, yet some mistake this for greatness and spend their time destroying and threatening to destroy life’s creations. To the evolving world, this is deeply pathetic. Psychopaths are psychopaths. Their admirers and enablers make them happen. From a writing and performing perspective, professionally besuited…

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Journal 2022-03-21

Schedule: Recite my poetry to camera. Perform podcast episodes on camera. Read Human World novel to camera. Perform my music on camera. Random Thoughts: I have had good quality sleep when I remember my dreams. Fool’s gold is a mirage to the senses. Smaug the Magnificent would covet the tacky…

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Random Thoughts

Dear Tech, please help end the twin abominations of disinformation and misinformation. Input plus something equals output. Usually the inputs are easier to change. As much as we would like to find some deeper nuance and subtlety, some people do behave like cartoonish one-dimensional characters. Do Until Win (Pain, Learn,…

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Under the Door

Darkly you draw me, The skulls smile and welcome me, leaving marks in the light hiding under the door.

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Random Thoughts

When the fog clears you realise you are not where you were anymore. Your love is shown in your grief; but grief will end, your love will not. Emperors want to think they are respected. I think they are pathetic. A country is not its government. Normal human beings do…

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Random Thoughts

Beauty in unexpected places is a special beauty. Words can transcend the page or sink in the mud. Dangerous and irresistible is a strange allure isn’t it… Try to have fewer opinions. Few and deep is more helpful than many and superficial. You don’t “work” when solving a crossword puzzle,…

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Beauty (lyrics version)

Found by a gentle breeze, deep smiles of shining beauty bathed in slowly swirling Shimmering infinity: The warm gaze of a gentle glow, The tender beauty in your eyes, with chemicals fuming tentacles across the astral skies. Hiding under the door, The tender beauty in your eyes; Darkly as you…

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Beauty

Found by a gentle breeze, deep smiles of shining beauty bathed in slowly swirling Shimmering infinity – The tender beauty in your eyes, The warm gaze of a gentle glow, while face down in questions talking to the wall; chemicals fuming tentacles across an empty sky.

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