Journal 2022-08-21

I tried work once, but I prefer cake, selfies and sunsets.

Your mental state affects your physicality. It’s also true the other way round.

An interpretation of Human World is that Guy/John is mentally ill and is projecting the thoughts of his split personalities on his interpretation of events. It actually looks quite good on camera when he is in the location of the scenes and just speaking the parts of the first-person narrative to himself as a monologue, cut with green screen shots to camera. Projecting my narration on other characters in the scenes has a weird effect and also works. Film length will be about 8 hours. Accompanying music videos will use the same scenes and characters.

The novel will also be uploaded into the Wiberty app – which will enable effective indexing of themes and meta commentary. I want shared and collaborative indexing available for any text or body of work.

“Am I real?” It’s just you I’m afraid. We’re all NPCs.

If the fundamental questions are unanswerable as a condition of existence, then what matters is not what you think, but what you do – or more precisely, the quality of how you express life, now.

It is common fallacy that because a person believes they have thought through an issue logically and arrived at an objective conclusion, anyone who does not arrive at the same conclusion must be either stupid, dishonest or mistaken. In fact, taking the example of the judicial panel system, well-informed people can be presented with the same evidence in the same context, applying the same rules, and arrive at different conclusions.

People who mindlessly follow the current trend look moronic in the fullness of time. If they could momentarily step outside and look from a better vantage point, they would be ashamed of themselves. The heroes are the ones who held true, who showed bravery to resist. True wealth is the quality of your character, the actions you displayed, not the treats you received for picking the convenient easy option. Nothing you accumulate can be taken with you – your character and the quality of your actions were everything.

Random Thoughts

A journey of a thousand lines of code begins with a single import statement.

Deserts are giant sun mines.

Negative generalisations about a person based on demographics is bigotry.

Thinking out loud… Legislature: Lower Chamber: 1,000 randomly selected people, each serving 1 month over staggered terms. Each vote by secret ballot. Upper Chamber: 1,000 experts in their fields, appointed by Lower Chamber from independent shortlists, each serving 1 year over staggered terms. Each vote by secret ballot. The Legislature rather have the government appoints members of public committees and nominates people for honours. Government: Head of Government appointed by national election. Serves 1 year. Legislation must be approved by the Legislature. Provision to be removed from office if two thirds majority in both chambers. The HOG cannot serve consecutive terms. They have a 12 month contract to do a good job before they are out. No honours, titles, or special treatment for having the job. They are not allowed to ever monetise their position beyond the salary they are paid. National referenda required for constitutional changes. Framework: No political or private funding allowed for the HOG candidate. The most popular candidates are mandated time in the national media. No political bias allowed in the media within 1 month before the national election.

Journal 2022-08-16

Anything creative is therapeutic to me, even if it is just some simple words like these.

These are both acting and writing requirements:

Describe the scene in detail. What is he seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching. What is he thinking? What is his emotional state? What does he want? What is his backstory? What happened immediately before? Describe him. What is his personality? What are his physical characteristics? What is he wearing? How does he talk?

Improvisation is realtime writing immersed in all of this.

Random Thoughts:

Dogma is typically deceit enforced by cruelty and murder. Freedom of expression is the foundation of civilisation that emerged (after much struggle) from our brutal past.

Casting off the shackles of the KGB means winning the right not to be raped, tortured, mutilated and murdered.

Fantasy Land

Sometimes I dream of what I read; 
Sometimes I kiss your sleeping head -
But only the pillow is your body, your touch a bed.
I breathe with you,
but you’re not there at all.

In fantasy land, nothing is real
except how I feel about you, baby.
In fantasy land, dreams are sand
and I am talking to the wall.
Only love can see me through;
Only love from only you is real to me.
The only hope I have out here
is that one day you'll appear, in my dreams.

Sometimes I see you:
A face in the street drifting away
to a distant melody…
Then I see,
the ghost in the window is me.
I'm not here at all.

In fantasy land, nothing is real
except how I feel about you, baby.
In fantasy land, dreams are sand
and I am talking to the wall.
Only love can see me through;
Only love from only you is real to me.
The only hope I have out here
is that one day you'll appear, in my dreams.

Did You Ever Love Me?

We were in love (or so we said) - 
Our days ahead “would last forever”.   
But now, you’re not here; 
The bed is cold, our story's over. 
 
Last night, where were you? 
The dawn is dark and I can't see you. 
Did you ever love me? 
Or am I just another fool for you? 
Did you ever love me? 
Did you ever love me, at all? 
 
There's no love here, in the dark alone - 
Fear stalks the night, 
I cannot hide or run; 
It hunts me down, wears me down, 
and then, cold and numb, I succumb: 
Under the dark, I fall in the wilderness, 
A thousand miles from you. 
 
Last night, where were you? 
The dawn is dark and I can't see you. 
Did you ever love me? 
Or am I just another fool for you? 
Did you ever love me? 
Did you ever love me, at all? 
 
You set me up, you set me down, 
loved me up and kicked me down - 
No love here, just fear of the dark. 
 
Did you ever love me? 
Or am I just another fool for you? 
Did you ever love me? 
Did you ever love me, at all? 
Words and Music by Robert Walker

Play Me Again

If you want me, you’ve got me - 
Try me, taste and buy me. 
I feel you when you look at me: 
A wave swelling over me, 
Lips swirling over my body. 
 
Get me where you want me: 
Play your game, 
For your satisfaction, 
Play me again. 
Any way you want me: 
Play the game, 
For satisfaction, 
Play me again. 
 
I come from faraway 
seeking a place to play - 
Heard sirens across the sea 
but they had no music for me. 
Then in the crimson dark, 
I heard magic in your laugh; 
Your smile unfolded, 
Bathing me down in your gold. 
 
Any way you want me: 
Play your game, 
For your satisfaction, 
Play me again. 
Get me where you want me: 
Play the game, 
For satisfaction, 
Play me again. 
 
I can hear you in your touch, 
Playing with magic, 
Warm caresses of my skin - 
You sweat salt on my tongue; 
You show me land where there was none. 
Naked rhythm murmuring, 
Covering me with you - 
The naked mystique of you. 
 
Get me where you want me: 
Play your game, 
For your satisfaction, 
Play me again. 
Any way you want me: 
Play the game, 
For satisfaction, 
Play me again. 
Words by Robert Walker

Naughty Is Best

Someone I know is so naughty, 
Helping me up in all my glory: 
Bliss stretching up, touched by the sun - 
Like a sonic flare, the day has begun. 
In the inferno, she finds her way, 
Breathing in great aeons of shapes, 
Up and down in a fierce embrace, 
Claiming me. 
 
Naughty is best - 
Your naughty is best. 
Nicely or naughty - 
Her naughty is best. 
 
Seduced and burned, pulling me closer - 
Animal instinct sliding on the bed. 
Vulnerable and deadly, soft and powerful: 
(Darkly, you draw me) 
Doom and bliss are both as one. 
Naughty not nasty -  
Nasty is ugly, nice is nice, 
But naughty… is fun… 
 
Yeah, naughty is best. 
Nicely or naughty - 
Naughty is best. 
Naughty, naughty, 
Naughty is best. 
 
Waking up at midnight: 
There’s a clawed monster in my bed, 
Unleashed, going bump in the night. 
And on the menu: 
My life in her hands, 
Doing what she has to do. 
She bit me hard; 
She left her mark; 
And now I’m naughty. 
 
I’m so naughty, 
Because naughty is best. 
Naughty, naughty, 
Naughty is best. 
Words and (some) Music by Robert Walker

Sweet Salvation

Had some time, had some life, had some fun, 
and tried to put out some. 
Love has met me and love has left me - 
When I’m done, what will come? 
 
When I’m done dying, lay my head on the ground; 
And there’s a simple sign, that I ain’t coming back: 
I’ll be six feet under ground. 
Sweet salvation – you know you will be mine; 
Sweet salvation – you know it’s been a long time. 
 
I looked back at those shining eyes - 
They said: 
“Listen. Yeah, listen well: 
Simple things still left to learn, 
Live your life, 
Wait your turn.” 
I asked them, “how, how can I know?” 
 
When I’m done dying, lay my head on the ground; 
And there’s a simple sign, that I ain’t coming back: 
I’ll be six feet under ground. 
Sweet salvation – you know you will be mine; 
Sweet salvation – you know it’s been a long time. 
 
“Not yet, go back; see you another time, 
Soon.” 
 
Sweet salvation… 
(some) Words by Robert Walker

Come Take It All

My bruises glow red hot; 
My bruises glow red hot; 
Love me hard or love me not. 
In time all things come back, 
Like a spinning wheel - 
It turns back to where we begin; 
Read the warning: 
“Beware!” 
Do you dare? 
 
What do you want from me? 
Do you want my sin? 
Do you feel my meaning? 
It’s where I’ve been; 
It’s where you’ve been; 
It’s sweat all over me. 
 
I can be what you want to see; 
I can be big or I can be small - 
Your choice, come take it all. 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, all, all. 
 
Your choice for more poison; 
I can pretend to be what you hope to see - 
But what you need is so much more: 
Be who you are. 
 
What do you serve? 
You receive what you give 
and get what you deserve; 
In time, you lose what you steal - 
Sapped by illusion, dead by exhaustion, 
Self-gratified, but never satisfied. 
 
What do you want from me? 
Do you want my sin? 
Do you feel my meaning? 
It’s where I’ve been; 
It’s where you’ve been; 
It’s sweat all over me. 
 
I can be what you want to see; 
I can be big or I can be small - 
Your choice, come take it all. 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, all, all. 
 
What you give comes back to you - 
Take only when you give your all. 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, all, all, all. 
 
What you give comes back to you - 
So what do you want from me? 
If you want it all: 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, all, all. 
Come take it all, come take it all. 
 
What do you really need? 
If you want it all: 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, all, all, all. 
Come take it all, come take it all… 
Words by Robert Walker

Out of Your Cage

Late at night in your bed, 
too tired to sleep, 
replaying the whole day in my head - 
Even though you smile, 
you look at me like you want me dead. 
Something lingers in the shadows, 
a distant echo of your voice 
numbs the air, stirs the nothing; 
Nothing of nothing: 
No love, no pain, 
the numbness again. 
 
Out of your cage, 
Today’s the day I get away; 
Russian roulette’s not over yet - 
No risk when I’m already dead. 
Out of your cage. 
 
You hate me now the lock is broken… 
Time’s up! I’ve had my little hour. 
But you left me there years ago, 
as time dripped through the cracks, 
stuffed and stuck in glue. 
I escape now to see a sunrise… 
I want to feel, to feel how I want to feel - 
To feel my heart beating under a stone. 
 
Out of your cage, 
Today’s the day I get away; 
Russian roulette’s not over yet - 
No risk when I’m already dead. 
Out of your cage - 
No risk, I’m already dead; 
I’m already dead. 
 
Don’t ask me to plead guilty - 
Sweat lost in a bottle for cage treats. 
Not gonna do it no more, 
Enslaved to a shallow grave. 
Live or die trying… 
Live or die trying… 
Live or die trying. 
Today’s the day I get away; 
Today, today I get away - 
Today! 
 
Another day in your bed, 
Always too tired to sleep, 
Replaying last night in my head - 
Even though I smile 
I feel like I am sleep-talking dead. 
Something lingers in the shadows: 
A distant echo of my voice, 
Numbs the air, stirs the nothing - 
Nothing of nothing; 
No love and no pain, 
The numbness again. 
 
Out of your cage, 
Today’s the day I get away; 
Russian roulette’s not over yet - 
No risk when I’m already dead. 
Out of your cage - 
No risk, I’m already dead; 
I’m already dead. 
Today’s the day I get away… 
Today. 
Words by Robert Walker