My coworker said they work better under pressure, so I started sending them emails with the subject line: “URGENT: THE WORLD IS ENDING.” Productivity hasn’t improved.
I saw a trailer for a new superhero movie. It’s about a guy who gets bitten by a radioactive sloth. His superpower? Extreme patience.
The Dark Ages weren’t really dark. That’s just what happens when a historian writes the story without paying the electricity bill.
My ex said, “You’ll never find someone like me.” I said, “That’s the point.”
I told my goldfish a joke. He just stared at me like he’d heard it before. I guess I need new material.
Robert Walker 