Random Thoughts

Had a dark dream about being in a large building where the lifts and escalators never take me to the right floor. I wouldn’t call it a nightmare, more a mildly annoying purgatory. By the time I reached the floor, I had forgotten why I wanted to go there in the first place.

Someone joked the other day that, like Dorian Gray, I must have a picture in my attic locked away. I can confirm that is true. But instead of ageing, it slowly metamorphoses—first sprouting antennae, then hard carapace, until scuttling off the canvas.

In an office setting someone who didn’t know me very well referred to me as “Mozart sitting over there”. It was totally not in context, he looked confused with himself for saying that for a moment, then continued speaking about something not related. Obviously I’m no Mozart, but a particular quote by him is very true for me: “When I am … completely myself, entirely alone … or during the night when I cannot sleep, it is on such occasions that my ideas flow best, and most abundantly. Whence and how they come, I know not, nor can I force them.”

Flawed assumptions slip into us quietly, inherited from habit, culture, or authority, and we carry them as if they were self-evident truths. Rarely do we pause to question them; they feel too deeply woven into the fabric of thought. Yet time reshapes the world, and what once stood firm begins to crumble. Still, reason marches on, building its chains from foundations already cracked. The conclusions that follow seem unavoidable, yet they are only the echo of premises long outdated. It is in this silence—where the roots of thought remain unexamined—that error grows inevitable.

In the workshop of the mind
memory is no archivist;
it blends pigments of longing and fear,
painting over cracks
with colours we ache to believe.

We speak in a chorus of selves,
each vying for the final line,
each certain its version is true.

So we live as our own narrators,
weaving tales that seem seamless—
until the light shifts,
and the joins gleam like scars.

For most of my life, I ate meat. After deciding to notice that the animals I was eating are sentient, and opening my eyes to the cruelties of the meat trade, I stopped. I was first a pescatarian, then a vegetarian, and eventually a full vegan for several years. Now I’m mostly vegan, though I do eat some dairy—cheese, for example—and very occasionally fish. It’s a balance that works for me.

I don’t prescribe how others should live. Eating meat is still a cheaper and easier way to get the nutrients your body needs. People often say something like, “I’d never give up bacon,” but taste buds change—after a while, meat no longer appeals and can even make you feel nauseous.

It’s for each person to work out what’s best for themselves. But to make those decisions easier, food technology needs to make plant-based options cheaper, more nutritious, and tastier than meat.

We gather around our rectangles of light,
sharing warmth we cannot feel,
our eyes reflecting blue fire—
the oldest need
disguised as the newest god.

If Earth’s past is any guide, human expansion to Mars would almost certainly reproduce familiar patterns of rivalry. Once Martian settlements achieve self-sufficiency— able to generate their own air, water, energy, food, reproduce their population, and secure the materials and technology needed for industry—their dependence on Earth evaporates. Distance alone ensures that political authority from Earth becomes impractical; communication delays and supply constraints make direct control little more than symbolism. Independence follows as a matter of course.

With autonomy comes competition. Separate colonies, each managing scarce Martian resources—such as access to ice deposits, geothermal sites, or habitable caverns—would develop competing interests. On Earth, similar pressures produced millennia of conflict between proximal polities.

The power dynamic between planets would be sharply asymmetrical. Earth’s greater population and industrial base might suggest supremacy, yet a Martian society living deep within caverns—an architecture dictated by radiation shielding and thermal stability—would be naturally protected from nuclear attack. Earth, by contrast, remains exposed. Any advanced Martian polity with the capability to launch kinetic or nuclear strikes could threaten global devastation while remaining largely invulnerable in return.

In such circumstances, rivalry between Martian colonies and a strained, imbalanced relationship with Earth is not only plausible but historically consistent with how human societies behave.

Random Thoughts

Human life is woven from paradox. A good leader is a good servant, placing the welfare of the group above personal ambition. Strength is found not in armoured perfection but in vulnerability; those who admit weakness draw trust and loyalty closer. Freedom, far from being the absence of limits, is born through discipline, for it is structure and restraint that open the widest fields of creativity and choice.

Authority arises not from pride but humility; those who do not demand respect are the ones who receive it most freely. Stability, contrary to instinct, is secured through change, for organisations that adapt endure, while those that resist are broken. Hardness, though it seems strong, is brittle and easily shattered; it is the supple, the flexible, that endures the weight of time and trial. The highest wisdom lies in recognising one’s ignorance, for only through such admission can true understanding begin.

In the paradox of the self, one realises that selflessness is the path to self-discovery: in serving others, one discovers one’s own depths. And finally, power is not in ceaseless action but in restraint—the capacity to act yet choosing to hold back, a mastery more profound than compulsion.

Light is the gathering of all colours into one. Silence is the chorus of every sound before it is born. Emptiness is the womb that carries every thing. To look at light is to see what has not yet been divided; to listen to silence is to hear what has not yet been spoken; to stand within emptiness is to feel the potential of all that will be.

The flow of time wears down stone and memory, leaving only the river, carrying all within it.

If the past is pressed into us, we become more fossil than flesh. New moments layer on top, distorting what lies beneath.

The mind, impatient for certainty, crowns its own echoes with the authority of fact.

I joined a mindfulness class but kept forgetting to be present.

I met a cow in a field who fixed me with her gaze, so I sang to her. Her ears pricked, her whole stance attentive. When I said my goodbyes and walked away, I turned back—she was still staring, as though weighing me up: “Not bad for a two-legged calf.”

I was going to tell a joke about recursion, but you’ve heard it before.

My younger brain was quicker at things like maths and memorising, but it was also much stupider, lacking the benefit of countless iteration loops.

Random Thoughts

We want our joys to be photogenic, our love to have milestones, our sadness to be diagnosable. But some of the most transformative experiences are those no one sees, that leave no trace except the way a person’s silence deepens, or the strange softness in their gaze. We are taught to “find ourselves”, but perhaps we should learn to lose ourselves more wisely.

I bought a smart mirror. It just keeps asking “Why?”

I bought a book called “How to Improve Your Memory”. When I got home, I realised I already had a copy.

“Intelligent idiots” are among the most damaging types of fools precisely because their intelligence masks their idiocy not just from others, but often from themselves. Their harm lies in their ability to obfuscate clarity with credibility. Because they speak with polish, draw on complex ideas, and appeal to reasoned structures, they smuggle in delusion under the guise of insight.

The core issue is misapplied intelligence. These individuals possess analytical or rhetorical skill but lack awareness—the capacity to recognise the limits of their knowledge, or the insight to discern coherence and truth. They make the false seem plausible by wrapping it in intellectual ornamentation. What is relatively clear becomes murky; what is simple is made needlessly complex. This wastes time, attention, and energy, especially in areas where precision and honesty are vital.

Ego plays a central role. When intelligence becomes an identity rather than a tool, the person becomes invested in being right rather than discovering truth. Stress and psychological needs—such as the desire to feel superior or maintain a worldview—lead to motivated reasoning. Self-delusion becomes self-defence. Because they argue well, they are difficult to correct, and because they sound right, others defer to them, mistaking fluency for substance.

In effect, they pollute. They make productive action harder by creating intellectual fog. Worse, they draw followers—not by offering clarity, but by giving confusion the shape of conviction.

The damage isn’t always dramatic, but it is insidious. It shows up in wasted years, misdirected efforts and broken consensus. The intelligent idiot is fluent, confident, and wrong—although often sincerely so.

I write in Bunhill Fields until I’m kicked out.

These days I get goose bumps when I listen to my music, and occasionally a tear.

Random Thoughts

I’m a night owl, an early bird, and a ghost haunting the hours in between.

My dark night of the soul has been lodging with me for years now. To be fair, it does the washing up sometimes, but it really ought to start looking for somewhere else.

Consciousness is the relation between inner and outer, observer and observed. It’s not just the result of matter interacting; it is the loop where the distinction between subject and object folds in on itself.

Meaning arises because the universe, through us, temporarily has a mirror. That mirror gives rise to art, ethics, despair, beauty, absurdity—all the phenomena that define human experience.

The fact that we seek meaning—and can construct it—suggests our role is not passive. We’re feedback. And perhaps, just perhaps, that feedback is what allows reality to mean at all.

Random Thoughts

Only do your best—the stage was not of your making, nor the circumstances your design.

We are currently in the year 5225 AW. Five thousand two hundred and twenty-five years After Writing—since humanity first began pressing styluses into clay and giving thought a permanent shape. 5,225 years since human recorded history began.

To live in the year 5225 AW is to be a descendant of that first act. We are part of a chain of over five thousand years long—an unbroken line of written thought stretching from the clay tablets of Sumer to the glowing screen you hold in your hand.

I’m sure our stone age ancestors living in prehistoric times never thought of themselves as living in a BW “before” era. Similarly, we may be living in about the year 20 BS (Before the Singularity).

To future minds, we may appear as the last primitives—the Before People, flickering at the edge of self-awareness. Or perhaps we’ll be remembered as the larval stage of something else entirely—something vast and incomprehensible.

In the strange new world emerging, the defining struggle may no longer be for survival, but for purpose.

When robots inevitably come to look and speak like humans—assuming we don’t obliterate ourselves first—a significant number of people will likely choose relationships with their “ideal” manufactured partners. If memory can be altered, some may even opt to forget their partner is a machine. And if conception and pregnancy are outsourced, the formation of families needn’t be affected at all. It would certainly be an experiment in human happiness—but I doubt it would be a success. It would be like living on fast food, cake, and ice cream every day: pleasurable at first, but ultimately unsatisfying, and liable to make you sick.

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” Very true, Pascal. Most of my “problems” have been caused by my mind not being able to sit quietly.

I think the most rational position on God is agnosticism not atheism. But I have a deep instinct to believe, and so I do, most of the time.

I think some people see the push to colonise Mars as like building lifeboats while the ship is under attack from pirates, fire has broken out on the bridge, the helmsman has had a heart attack, the captain is drunk in the hold, and the vessel is accelerating towards the icebergs.

That background hum you hear is the server fans of the simulation keeping the universe from overheating.

A closed mind does not develop; without the chance to self-correct, it withers in ignorance.

Random Thoughts

From muscle to machine, from sweat to silicon; from flesh to circuits, from toil to steel—the means of production evolves. And as work’s weight is lifted, spirits will roam free, unshackled from necessity—to dream, to create, to simply be.

Waiting now for the technology to make really cool films with AI.

Waiting now for the technology to make really cool real-time music performances with AI.

Excited about the ever-improving scope of AI in app development and the opportunity unleashed to realise creative ideas.

Excited about future robotics giving me more time in the day.

Excited about the scientific breakthroughs that might be initiated by AI, particularly in medical science.

My highly nuanced and erudite critical analysis of Frankenstein is that Victor was a bit of a dick.

Random Thoughts

2025 is my year of resolution.

My first memory was in bed at night, hearing a fox calling outside by bedroom window.

If you look for problems, you will find them everywhere—you’ll notice the shadows cast by trees instead of the shade they provide, the drops of rain in the air instead of the rainbow forming beyond; you’ll see cracks magnified in solid oak, instead of the vast forests beyond outstretched branches.

I’m falling silent now, within a writing chrysalis. I don’t know if I will re-emerge.

I tend to hang out in dentists these days. It’s how I like to spend my weekends.

Each of us is piece of the puzzle, and together, we create the masterpiece.

Some of life’s little jokes:

You’ve been looking everywhere for something you already have;

You didn’t notice what was right in front of you;

You didn’t even know that you didn’t know.

Random Thoughts

I didn’t realise Montaigne was so influential. His words have an echo in much great literature after him, including the works of Shakespeare. Was Hamlet referring to Montaigne in, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”? Was Roosevelt referring to Montaigne in, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”?

There has been an obvious degeneration of quality, hasn’t there? Maybe it’s easy to cherry-pick from the past, but those cherries are a lot more appealing than today’s rotting harvest.

Note to self: Learn about AI and think about its application. What’s the future of Hollywood, the BBC, Netflix etc., if AI enables individual creators to make great films and programs from their ideas?

We are hurtling towards AI. I hope it helps us, as we are in need of some saving.

Poetry is words that dance with music.

Poetry was originally meant to be sung. It is musical in its being. Yet many actors perform Shakespeare’s verse in one note.

What justifies the statement, “I am an artist”? An artist is moved to become a new expression in the dance.

I’m biassed against Byron because he was snobbishly dismissive of Keats. However, art is not the artist, even though we live in a society that glorifies the cult of the individual. Art is not just the result of a person, it emanates from humanity, and more deeply, the world.

Over the past year, I’ve been on the receiving end of two spectacularly awful bureaucratic blunders, which have inspired some Kafkaesque ideas for a sci-fi horror screenplay I’ll be writing this Autumn.

It is amazing how the odd sentence here and there mounts up over time.

The subconscious is far more intelligent than my reasoning.

Some of the most insightful and prescient comments people make are often throw away, instinctive comments made before rationalising kicks in.

A key teaching of Christianity is that the highest calling is not one of dominion but of service, exemplified by Jesus who devoted himself to humanity, ultimately sacrificing his life. “Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted” resonates with the paradoxical wisdom of the Tao. It has inspired phrases such as “a servant of God,” “servant of the people,” “in service of your country,” and more contemporary ideas like “servant-leadership.”

A real flaw is the deluded self-certainty of being in the right. “You are a stupid piece of shit,” as often repeated in the febrile modern world, isn’t right. “You are behaving like a stupid piece of shit” is rather more likely because virtually all of us has been in that second category from time to time. A better example of this was given with sins and stones a while ago.

To Get Things Done

Optional ways to get things done:

Be incredibly well-disciplined, ever-vigilantly defeating distraction impulses.

Live in fear, constantly in motion because you are terrified of the consequences of failure.

Live in hate, fired up to prove people wrong or in vengeance of some past wrong.

Have an inflated ego, pushing yourself so that you can assert yourself over others.

Be a narcissist wanting others to admire you.

Have warped beliefs that you obey without question, usually due to some perceived reward.

Desire the future reward so much it overrides everything else.

Be a saint working relentlessly because you care about people and want to bring some good into the world. For instance, this could be for a benevolent cause and/or your family’s wellbeing.

Be out of your mind, doing what you do, like a machine.

Be insanely obsessive, driven by a compulsive need to do it at all costs.

Be in love with what you do, so you want to do as much of it as you can.

Or create a routine that is easy to adopt out of habit.

The last one is the most realistic in most situations. Therefore, design the rules of the algorithm up front, so it’s easy to get things done without having to be a great master, a saint, or a sinner. The consistent taking of small steps can become vast in its effects.

Random Thoughts

A version before the “first draft” is a “free-write” stream of consciousness draft, where no editing or filters to thoughts are applied. It’s not for anyone else to see, unless they really want to wade through structural incoherence and undeveloped, inchoate prose.

I’ve still got quite a bit of writing to do, but I’m starting to think now about performance and my physicality.

Adversity motivates change. Difficulty prompts improvement. Failure spurs transformation.

God / the universe gave me everything and I still wasn’t happy. My concerns were mostly about me and the stories I was telling myself. My thoughts created the problems.

Imagine positive things to be true, and this can become your internal experience. It’s not about clinging to beliefs despite evidence to the contrary; it’s about welcoming possibilities that can live in you.

The internet was the brainchild of a group of cats who wanted to share pictures of themselves more efficiently. The first web browser was designed to be cat-friendly, hence why we have so many cat videos online.

Keats, Blake, and Turner all spoke with London accents, and were denigrated by less capable people because of it, even though almost all the great artists in British history did not come from inherited wealth.